Hi I need to figure out how to end this "friendship" in a nice way ... I am just having a difficult time knowing what to tell him.
Back in 1992, I began writing pen-pal letters to someone in SC . My letters continued sporadically 3 or 4 years and eventually I stopped writing because he was just so boring.
He once wrote about his family/background, and rarely discussed anything current in his life and would repeat the tedious pleasantries about the weather in every letter. Worst of all, he never asked me questions about myself and would not answer my questions. (What did we even talk about?? I don't remember.)
Fast forward to 2010 ... (after 15 years ) I begin getting e-mails from him. (He found me on Facebook.) I chalked up the past to being young and inexperienced with the world (and figured by this time he would have matured emotionally as well), so I have given this "friendship" another try, BUT ... it has only brought me weariness.
(I have never met him, don't feel any connection to him and the most we have in common is that we are human beings. There is absolutely no chemistry and I have never felt romantic towards him at all.)
Explaining it all out now ... it seems crazy.
This second time around (still only writing -- we live on opposite sides of the US) I find out that he lied about his age (he is 10 years older than me) and that he had a daughter he never told me about ... (the age thing is less important as we grow older but he was writing me when I was only 17 and he was 27. When I realized that, it totally creeped me out. )
I confronted him about it (he was surprised I knew) and he apologized ... and yet failed to answer the questions I asked. How typical! And now, he has begun to answer some questions about himself ... but, forgive me, he honestly seems like ... he's not "all there". A man-child if you will. He's extremely needy and clingy. (I've never met the guy and I can tell by the way he writes to me.) I've tried and tried to get him to open up but it's just all pointless. I've had it!! How do I nicely tell him this isn't working and I don't feel we have anything in common? I'm SURE he's a nice person ... but all the same I don't want to be mean or rude about it. Does he deserve a wordy explanation or should I just be blunt about it?
Hi there! Sorry for not responding sooner. I haven't had a chance to log in for awhile.
This guy sounds like trouble, but I guess I have a few questions first...
You mentioned that there's no chemistry between you two, but is that what he's looking for? Is he trying to get close in hopes of a real relationship?
What happens if you simply stop replying to him? I'm guessing there's been a time when you didn't reply for a few days... Does he continue trying to contact you or does he patiently wait?
How much info does he have about you? Could he find you IRL if he wanted to?
Is he crazy-stalker material? Or is he just kind of a goof?
I've found old grammar school friends and even an old pen pal on Facebook (having an international pen pal was a thing we did in 4th grade and I looked her up). We basically wrote 3-4 emails to catch up and now just read each others' statuses and randomly comment. It's the same with most of my old grammar school friends... I would suspect that's "normal." Your guy seems to be on a different wavelength...
Anyway, if you can give me few responses to my questions, I'll see what I can come up with...
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Want to get rid of this guy (currently 11 views)
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