George Bush has a heart attack and dies. (applause) Obviously, he goes to Hell, where the Devil is waiting or him.
"I'm not sure what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list, but I have no room for you. As you definitely have to stay here I'm going to have to let someone else go.
"I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you'll have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves."
George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.
The Devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and climbing out, over and over.
Such was his fate in Hell.
"No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing the hammer, time after time.
"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day." commented George.
The Devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this.
" The Devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go!"
My love for you is deep and true. No matter what you do, I'll always be there for you
I'm a guy and I'm not gay, but I'd choose this too. It's just less strenuous than the other two options...
I heard another version...
A guy goes to Hell and the devil says he can pick how he'll spend eternity and shows the man 3 doors.
The devil opens up the first door and it's like a lava pit. People are engulfed in flames and screaming in agony. The man says, "Oh God No! Anything but burning! No!"
The devil opens the second door and it looks like the antarctic. Frostbitten people are all standing in there moaning in agonizing pain for constantly freezing. The man say, "Well, it's not burning, but that's horrible! I don't want to freeze for eternity either!"
The devil opens the third door and it's a room full of diarreah. There's some good music on, everyone in the back is playing cards, and they're drinking beer and smoking cigars. The man says, "Well, I guess I could get used to the smell and it's better than freezing or burning... I'll take this one."
The devil pushes the guy in and closes the door. The diarreah is so deep that it's touching the guy's chin. He wades out and gets in on the game of cards.
Fifteen minutes later, the devil opens the door and shouts, "OK! BREAK'S OVER! BACK ON YOUR HEADS!"