A guy dies and goes to Hell. he's scared out of his mind, but surprisingly, the Devil greets him pleasantly and starts to give the guy some info on Hell...
DEVIL: "So, you like drinking?"
MAN: "Oh yeah, I love drinking!"
DEVIL: "Oh, then you're gonna love Mondays. Monday is liquor night. We bring in the best booze from all over the world and everyone just gets totally smashed! And you're already dead, so it can't hurt you anymore!"
MAN: "Wow, that's kind of cool."
DEVIL: "You like doing drugs?"
MAN: "Hell yeah!"
DEVIL: "Oh, then you're gonna love Tuesdays! Tuesday is drug night. We get the best coke, crack, smack, weed, heroin, and any other drugs you can think of. We throw a bitchin' party and everyone just gets high on Tuesdays. And you're already dead, so it can't hurt you anymore!"
MAN: "Wow, I can't believe this!"
DEVIL: "Are you a smoker?"
DEVIL: "Great! You'll love Wednesdays. Wednesday is smoke night. We bring in the finest cigars, cigarettes, and pipe tobacco that the world has to offer. We all just kind of hang out and smoke till our lungs turn black on Wednesdays. And you're already dead, so it can't hurt you anymore!"
MAN: "This is awesome!"
DEVIL: "You a gambler?"
MAN: "I love a good game of poker or blackjack."
DEVIL: "Well, Thursday is Casino Night... You're gonna love it. We break out the slot machines, the gaming tables, and everyone just gambles the night away! Since we don't use money here in Hell, you'll never go broke! You just play and have a good time!"
MAN: "Dude, this rocks!"
DEVIL: "Are you gay?"
DEVIL: "Are you gay? Do you like to receive anal sex?!"