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  Author    State Trooper  (currently 980 views)
Myzyri
Posted on: May 18th, 2006, 7:35pm Quote Report to Moderator
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Two men are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a State Trooper. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him in the head with the stick.

The driver asks, "What the hell was that for?"

The cop answers, "You're in Alabama, son. When we pull you over, you better have your license, registration, and insurance card ready when we get to your car."

The driver says, "I'm sorry, Officer, I'm not from around here."

The cop runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back, walks around to the passenger side, and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him on the head with the nightstick.

The passenger asks, "What'd you do that for?"

The cop says, "Just making your wish come true."

The passenger asks, "Making what wish come true?"

The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say to your buddy, "I wish that Son-of-a-B*tch would've tried that sh*t with me!"
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Litlin
Posted on: May 18th, 2006, 8:04pm Quote Report to Moderator
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That was cute, now here is one for you...

Little Johnny was at Sunday school one Sunday, and the nun that was teaching asked the class, "Which part of your body do you think reaches heaven first?"

Little Sally answered with, "I think the hands are the first part of our bodies that will reach heaven, as God will pull us up by our hands because we pray with them everyday."

"That's an excellent answer, Sally," replied the nun.

"I think the legs go first!" blurted out Little Johnny.

The nun asked, " WHy do you think that?"

"Because," explained Little Johnny, "the other day I walked into my mom's bedroom. She had her legs in the air and she was screaming 'Oh God I'm coming!' If it hadn't been for the milkman holding her down, we would've lost her for sure!"

The nun fainted.

"There will be a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning."
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Myzyri
Posted on: May 18th, 2006, 8:20pm Quote Report to Moderator
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Very good...  here's another Little Johnny joke for you...

Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that "Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the differences between boys and girls," and would his mother, "please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this."

So Johnny's mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door.

"First, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse..."

So he unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.

"OK, now take off my skirt...." and he takes off her skirt.

"Now take off my bra..." which he does.

"And now, Johnny, please take off my panties." and when Johnny finishes removing those, she says, "Johnny, PLEASE don't wear any of my clothes to school any more!"
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Litlin
Posted on: May 18th, 2006, 8:26pm Quote Report to Moderator
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One question....

 When leaving for school, his mother did not notice then?


 Makes you wonder about parents these day! lol j/k

"There will be a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning."
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Myzyri
Posted on: May 18th, 2006, 8:45pm Quote Report to Moderator
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Maybe she was too busy with the milkman to notice...  
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Litlin
Posted on: May 19th, 2006, 12:06pm Quote Report to Moderator
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I have to say my dear friend, I think I am loving the way your mind works!

*Great minds think alike*

"There will be a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning."
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Myzyri
Posted on: May 19th, 2006, 5:16pm Quote Report to Moderator
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Well thank you...  My mind works on a steady stream of caffiene, nicotine, pornography, and sour mash...  Seems to be working, eh?  
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Litlin
Posted on: May 19th, 2006, 6:48pm Quote Report to Moderator
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It is easy to say that I believe it is working famously. I seem to run on caffiene, nicotine, alcohol and lack of sleep. Tell me how that works out! LOL

"There will be a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning."
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Myzyri
Posted on: May 19th, 2006, 6:56pm Quote Report to Moderator
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Oh hey, check your PM's...  I sent you one earlier...  (Click on "Profile" in the upper right part of the page...  You'll see the "inbox" on the left side of that screen under "Member Center." - Sorry...  Don't know why I'm giving directions...  Hell, I'm lost half the time...)  

Revision History (1 edits)
Myzyri  -  May 19th, 2006, 6:59pm
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Litlin
Posted on: May 19th, 2006, 7:28pm Quote Report to Moderator
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Thank you for the thorough guide!!!!! lol done.. now it is your turn. ttyl

"There will be a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning."
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Myzyri
Posted on: May 19th, 2006, 8:02pm Quote Report to Moderator
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Right back atcha...  twice...
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