For a while I never thought that this relationship was abusive, but after researching online about why she acts the way she does everything points to that. It started as her getting mad at me for certain things I say, which were never intentionally meant to hurt her, but she would get mad anyway and aggressively put me down and tell me what a horrible person and boyfriend I am. Then at one point she started cutting herself, and told me all the time that I make her do it everytime by the way I am. I never say or do anything to emotionally or physically hurt her but she claims I do. She's also made me stop seeing and talking to friends I've had because they are female. One friend I had for over six years and we did have a sexual past, but we're now very good friends. My girlfriend made me stop talkiing to her and used her cutting and suicide as threats to make me stop. Now that we have those problems out of the way she just always puts me down about it and the fact that I've had more sexual partners than her. She calls me disgusting and I'm unworthy of anything good, but yet she tells me she loves me. Then just recently it turned violent. That day she punched me, slapped me, in the face and other parts of my body, and I never did anything back because it's always been my belief to never hit women. She always blames me for it and says that everything that is wrong in the relationship is my fault and she makes me believe it. She gets pi***d off everytime I don't talk to her on my phone or not answer because I don't want to talk to her she makes me feel like less of a person. I sometimes want to die I feel like I'd rather kill myself than be treated this way. I just need help to get away from her but everytime I tried breaking up she said she'd kill herself if I left.
John, this chick is insane. There's no two ways about it.
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It started as her getting mad at me for certain things I say, which were never intentionally meant to hurt her, but she would get mad anyway and aggressively put me down and tell me what a horrible person and boyfriend I am.
Hindsight is 20/20 but as far as it goes, this was your first mistake. You stuck around. Remember this for future relationships. Anyone who belittles you like that is not someone worthy of your love, affection, or attention. If this ever happens in a future relationship, it's time to say goodbye.
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Then at one point she started cutting herself, and told me all the time that I make her do it everytime by the way I am.
No, she does it. She takes the knife and cuts herself. That's her choice. You have nothing to do with it. People who cut themselves have FAR more problems than any problem a boyfriend could cause.
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I never say or do anything to emotionally or physically hurt her but she claims I do.
No, she's crazy. Her brain works differently. Between what is said and what she hears, her brain could interpret it a thousand ways. Since she's nuts, she probably hears the most negative possibility of anything you say. It's not your fault; it's hers.
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She's also made me stop seeing and talking to friends I've had because they are female. One friend I had for over six years and we did have a sexual past, but we're now very good friends.
I could understand where this could make a girlfriend uncomfortable. She could have made this request a little more politely and rationally though.
As for you, it's never a good idea to continue being friends with an ex lover. Sometimes it's no big deal to a girlfriend (usually if the ex is some hideous beast that your GF doesn't have to worry about). However, it's just weird and causes tension.
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My girlfriend made me stop talkiing to her and used her cutting and suicide as threats to make me stop.
Suicide threats... Classy. She's crazy and manipulative.
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Now that we have those problems out of the way she just always puts me down about it and the fact that I've had more sexual partners than her.
Well, what are you gonna do? Screw these chicks in reverse? There's no way to reserve the fact that you've had sex with more people. It's in the past. She's a lunatic for obsessing over this.
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She calls me disgusting and I'm unworthy of anything good, but yet she tells me she loves me. Then just recently it turned violent.
So now she's crazy, manipulative, and violent. What a winner! Pfft. Trust me, my friend, she is the one who's disgusting; not you.
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She always blames me for it and says that everything that is wrong in the relationship is my fault and she makes me believe it.
Seriously? She makes you believe it? Dude, this b**** is psychotic!? How can you believe that you're the problem?! Seriously... SERIOUSLY!! Your crap-on-a-stick relationship is 100% her fault. My guess is that the only reason it's lasted this long is because of your efforts (and your fears that she'll do something stupid).
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She gets pi***d off everytime I don't talk to her on my phone or not answer because I don't want to talk to her she makes me feel like less of a person.
You're a fine person. She's just crazy, manipulative, violent, and completely insecure. Her insecurity is also the reason she's so threatened by your ex-lover-friend-person.
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I sometimes want to die I feel like I'd rather kill myself than be treated this way.
She's your GIRLFRIEND. The purpose of dating is to find out if you're compatible with one another. You're obviously not compatible. This relationship is a train wreck. You don't have to die to get out of a relationship. You simply have to walk away. Literally, you just leave the relationship. Most people are nice enough to tell the other person that it's over, but in actuality, you could just never call her, never answer your phone when she calls, and never see her. Simple as that. She'll get the hint eventually. And it would serve her right for how she treated you.
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I just need help to get away from her but everytime I tried breaking up she said she'd kill herself if I left.
This was the only part that concerned me. Basically, she's a manipulative psycho. 99% of people who threaten suicide never do it. It's a manipulation tactic.
So, here's what you could do if you've got the balls to break up with her. I don't know how old she is, so I'll have to do this two or 3 ways...
1> If you guys still live at home with your parents, this is the time to get them involved. Do not worry about your parents (or hers) getting angry with you. I promise they won't. Just tell your parents what's going on. You don't have to talk about your past sexual encounters or any kind of embarrassing details. Just tell them that you want to break up with your girlfriend and she threatened to kill herself if you left her. Your parents should know what to do. They'll probably call her parents and end the relationship for you. Her parents will be aware of the situation and get her the help she needs.
2> If she lives at home with her parents and you don't, then call her parents directly and explain what's going on. They'll get her the help she needs.
3> If you guys are in college and she lives on her own or with a roommate, call campus security and tell them you need to talk to the person who deals with students who may hurt themselves. Explain the story if you have to, but get in touch with the person who can help facilitate this break-up without her hurting herself.
4> If she just lives on her own and there are no parents or school officials that can help, you can call the police, the hospital, or a suicide hotline (in the USA, use 1-800-SUICIDE). They can help you through this whole process and get her the help she needs.
In the end, there is no reason whatsoever for you to be stuck in this horrible relationship. There are people who can help her and help you. Get out of that relationship as fast as you can. If you truly fear that she'll hurt herself, I'd suggest calling the suicide hotline and asking them how to proceed.
Good luck to you! Please come back and tell us how things turned out.
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My abusive relationship story (currently 42 views)
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