Funny Marriage Quotes

Funny marriage quotes

Funny marriage quotes at latestngreatest

 

 
 

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

 

***********

My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It's titled, "Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong."

 

***********

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

 

***********

Honolulu — it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
 

***********

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

 

***********

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish...

 

***********

Do you know why God withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead of laugh at you.

 

***********


Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.


***********
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

 

***********

After an acquaintance of ten minutes, many women will exchange confidences that a man would not reveal to a lifelong friend.

 

***********

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby.

 

***********
 

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

 Henry Youngman

 

***********
"I'll never let go Jack, I'll never let go." Rose in Titanic. Several seconds later, poor little Jack sinks to the bottom of the Atlantic...
 

***********

 

 An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her."
Agatha Christie

 

***********


Women like silent men, they think they're listening.

 

***********
 

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

 
Henry Youngman.

*

**********

If a man is talking in the woods and no woman hears him... is he still wrong?

 

***********

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
 

***********
I fell in love at first sight… I should have looked twice.

 

***********

 

Before marriage  a man yearns for a woman after marriage the ‘y’ is silent .

 

***********

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want then when you see what the other person has,
you wish you had ordered that.

***********
 

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher

. Socrates  

 

***********

<<Funny Love Quotes

  SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

 [Home ][Submit Quote] [Submitted Quotes] [Humorous Quotes] [Random Quotes] [Anniversary Ideas]
[
Wedding Quotes] [Spanish Love Quotes] [Search for a Quote]
[Broken Heart Quotes]
[Sad Love Quotes] Links] [Dating Links] [Mailing List] [Missing You] [Cute Quotes] [Send to a Friend] [Sad Love Quotes]
[
Dedicate Someone a Quote/Poem] [View Dedications]
[Download Free Love Quotes Screen Saver]

[Movie Love Quotes] [Losing Love] Funny Friendship Poems
[
Love Songs Lyrics ]new

contact me

Copyright© 2002-2015 , . All rights reserved.