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 Board Index    Love and Friendship    Relationship Advice and Love Talk  ›  Bothered by my girlfriend's past
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  Author    Bothered by my girlfriend's past  (currently 41 views)
Posted on: September 22nd, 2010, 1:06am Quote Report to Moderator
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Hi everybody,

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

So here goes: I've recently entered a relationship. I absolutely love the girl and we are great together. We're having a great time always, the sex is awesome, and our lives are going in parallel directions. It's healthy in just about every way. She tells me that I'm the best bf she's had and that she's never been happier.

Now here's the problem: I am really feeling bothered by my gf's past. Not only bothered. It sickens me. It drags me down. When I'm with her, it's not that important, but when we're apart, I feel very strongly about it, and it makes me lose respect for her. I see her as dirty, somehow.

Now here are the facts: I've been intimate with 4 girls including her. I'm her 5th or so. So this is similar, the number is not bothering me. However, her experiences have been more extensive than mine, i.e. there is about nothing she hasn't done in bed (99% of what you saw in porn vids, she did). In my experiences, I have been a little more conservative, although if given the opportunity, I might have done the exact same things she did.

So it's not that I see what she did as "bad", it's really that I'm bothered that she has done them with others than me in the past. Also, recently, she asked me in bed to be rougher, to spank her etc... Essentially, she loves to be submissive in bed, and has learned to love habits that turned her exs on. Most of her exs treated her like trash, they were players. So anyway: each time she asks me something like this, I come to think that she learned that behavior with another guy, some douche. That and other things. Other guys did things to her that I won't do (like anal), I'm just not into that. The sum of it makes her look, in my mind, as dirty...

I'm torn in this. I love the girl, she is everything I could have hoped for. But since we got intimate, and the details/habits from her past emerged, I've been thinking about these things more and more, and I don't want them to drag me down any longer.

I understand that I must choose a few things. Foremost: do I want to change my beliefs? Second: if not, am I ready to accept this?

I'm writing this here in the hope of seeing how you guys and girls would react. What do you think?

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Posted on: September 22nd, 2010, 5:44pm Quote Report to Moderator
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Hmmm sounds tricky.  I think if you both TRULY love each other than things MAY be alright, maybe...  If she has really been THAT slutty and done THAT much with other guys and is just using you or something, than perhaps you should leave her.

Also, you should probably make sure she isn't promiscous.  Some girls just pick up guys and throw them away like nothing it sounds.  If that's the case with her, then maybe you should break it off before you get in deeper.

However just because she had a rough past too doesn't mean you should break up with her.  But if she has done as much as you said and is the kind of person you made it sound to be, then perhaps you should try someone else.  Just my thoughts.

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Posted on: August 7th, 2012, 6:46am Quote Report to Moderator
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man I do feel for u but that's not to bad.  1 more person that u.  u should give her a chance I try to get it out of your head.

trying being in this situation.  I started dating this girl shes so cute.  well the first night we hung out we were at a bar with friends and I suggested we go swimming at my pool.. she was ready to go I a heart bead so I know she like me.  one other girl went she left about 2 hours later and about 2 bottles of wine later.  well mean while me and gf ( not at the time) we had sex and it was awesome.  I should have know right then and there.
long story short I waited to ask her about her past and I fell in love with her.  when I did fianly ask her nothing could have prepared me.  60+ she said not really sure oh yeah and 9 girls and 3 threesomes. ha really try handling that.  and not one night either she only 2 over them were.   the rest just f&$@ buddies. who know how many guys she was sleeping with at a time.  I mean like did she have a guys for evey night of the week of month who knows.   she says she never did two guys at once I believe her on that.  If you guys have any advice I am all ears oh yeah and she would jello wrestle at a bar for bar tab.  
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