I have a guy close friend and we both have partners right now. He is my childhood friend and he courted me when we were teens. We had a mutual understanding before even though we knew we are currently in a relationship. When we were in College he got his GF pregnant. He even blame me that if i just chose him over my BF maybe he will not get the girl pregnant.
We knew deep inside that we have feelings for each other but we knew that the feelings is not enough to go into a romantic relationship. Whenever we have time we usually spend our time together drinking and there was a time when we kissed. When we were together we act just like we're BF/GF. and our other friends observed that.
He is my bestfriend I can tell him anything under the sun and even the problems i have with my BF. (My BF cheats me a lot of time). He always telling me that i should let go with my BF because I dont deserve him but i really love my BF but i have this kinda something special feeling for my friend.
I knew that he has a girlfriend and i knew the girl. We always kiss when we have our time together despite the fact we have our own BF/GF. My conscience is killing me because its not proper kissing somebody's BF. But i can not help it. I think of him a lot and i get jealous when i saw them together. Am i Selfish? im jealous because he is so sweet with his GF (my guy did not do that kind of things).
I dont know what to do. I knew that he cant live his GF and so I. Should I avoid him?but I really value the friendship. And I can be with him even as his friend. I feel safe whenever im with him..