Hello everyone! My boyfriend and I split in march after an 8 year relationship - I ended it. However we are now getting back together and trying hard to make it work.
Both of us had flings when we were single, but now I have cut contact with other guys. My boyfriend on the other hand is still in touch with a girl he met on a 3-day business trip.
He tells me that she's a good friend. From what he said, she sounds like a really nice girl. Even though it made me feel uncomfortable, I turned a blind eye to the emails.
Now, she wants his phone number to call him cos "she'd love to hear his voice". My boyfriend doesn't understand why I have a problem with this, and tells me I'm too controlling.
Quick and/or occasional e-mails, chats, or even phone conversations aren't necessarily too bad (especially if there's really no chance of them meeting or hooking up - i.e. long distance).
However, with a comment like "I'd love to hear your voice," I'd have a concern.
I don't think you're being too jealous or controlling. Maybe you need to explain that her comment shows more than just a friendly relationship on her part. If he sticks to e-mails, I wouldn't worry about it, but if things progressed up the lines of communication, I'd start to get aggravated. What I mean by "progress[ing] up the lines of communication," is stuff like, chat room, to e-mails, to private chats, to phone conversations, to quick meetings "just for a drink," to dates, to humping, and so on...
I don't think you're unreasonable if he sticks to basic, short communication with his long-distance friend, but if it progresses, put your foot down and talk about how you feel. If he respects you, he'll cut her off.
Now, if she's nearby and they could one day "just meet for drinks," then put your foot down now.
Overall, you need to talk to him rationally and you also have to trust him, too.
..i TOTALLY agree.. ..PLUS, also watch out for text messages that this girl might send your bf..
on the other hand, as long as your bf shows you that he loves you and that he's sincere in working out your relationship, i don't see a reason for you to worry..