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  Author    girls confuse me..  (currently 40 views)
Posted on: January 17th, 2007, 1:03am Quote Report to Moderator
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Gender: Male
Posts: 19
okay..  theres this girl who is like my best friend. we spend an unreal amount of time together.. but so far its been a completely platonic relationship.. and i actually wanted it that way since im not a huge fan of relationships.. but im starting to really like her a lot and its kinda starting to hurt.. cause i dont think she feels the same way cause she sometimes makes off-handed comments like "your like my brother" and "i love being with you cause i never have to worry about you making a move on me"..  and i dont want my feelings toward her to hurt out friendship.. please help
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Posted on: January 17th, 2007, 9:39am Quote Report to Moderator

Gender: Male
Posts: 1,824
More proof that guys and girls can't really be friends...  One always ends up falling for the other...

Anyway, this is not as complicated as you think.

You have 2 options:

1>  Say nothing, be her friend, and live in emotional pain.  You'll the save the friendship, but you'll suffer emotionally becuase you'll always want her and you can't have her.  Additionally, you'll be emotionally wrecked if/when she starts dating someone else.

2>  Take her out somewhere nice (semi-romantic) and tell her how you feel.  She might start to date you, she may not.  If the friendship goes down the toilet, so be it, BUT at least you had the guts to tell her and you won't have to suffer in a friendship where you want her and can't have her romantically.  On the flip side, maybe she'll think about it a little and say she likes you too.

So, your outcomes are basically these:

1>  Say nothing and suffer for as long as the friendship lasts.  Then, when she starts dating someone else, you suffer more and wonder "what might have been" had you had the guts to ask her out.

2>  Tell her how you feel and lose the friendship, but don't suffer and wonder "what might have been."

3>  Tell her, gain a girlfriend, and maybe have the best romance of your life.

Finally, you could slip in this little line when you tell her you like her, "I know that what I'm about to tell you could change our friendship or make it awkward.  If you're going to feel awkward about our friendship after this, then I think you should really consider what I have to say because your openness to the idea might be the only thing that can save our friendship."  This helps push her away from the second outcome.  Basically, if she's going to avoid you because it's awkward, she's better off at least giving a relationship a try.

Not saying anything is just going to tease you and make you suffer...  

Tell her, take a gamble, and maybe you'll find the love of your life!

Good luck.  Please come back and tell us how it goes.
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Illustrator Vir
Posted on: January 17th, 2007, 1:38pm Quote Report to Moderator
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Gender: Male
Posts: 238
Live like there is no tomorrow and you will live with no regrets.

Like Myzyri said, you could say nothing and constantly tell yourself "Well... what if..." I would much rather tell her how I really feel and take the outcome. You never know what could happen and you could get something amazing, who knows.

One thing to keep in mind, don't make a physical move, talk first. And do not go overboard like a hobo over a ham sandwich, this could turn around badly. Just be yourself and take her out for dinner or something like that. Let us know how it goes.

Brian Breeden
History Student
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