Funny Love Quotes

 

Funny Love Quotes Marriage QUOTES

 

Funny Love Quotes brought to you at Latestngreatest.Net 

 

 

The sincerest love is the love of food.

 Bernard Shaw .

***********

 

 

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. 

Josh Billings

***********

 

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.

 

***********

 

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener!   Unknown

 

***********

 

The great question... which I have not been able to
    answer... is, "What  ..does a woman want?'' 

-- Freud

***********

 

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late."

***********

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

 David Bissonette

***********

 

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him

***********

 

 

Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for."

 Mae West

***********

 

 

Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Ambrose Bierce

***********

 

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law

***********

 

Man is better off than woman; he marries later and dies sooner

***********

 

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

***********


 Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred

***********

 

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.

-Oscar Wilde

***********

 

 A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.—

Zsa Zsa Gabor

***********

 

My wife and I were happy for 20 years - then we met.

-Rodney Dangerfield

***********

 

The most happy marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.

 Coleridge

***********

 

One good husband is worth two good wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.

 Benjamin Franklin

***********

 

.The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-
Henry Youngman

***********

 

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
 
Phyllis Diller

***********

 

If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten out of a wife by a small word of praise paid over the counter when the market is just right, they would bring matters around the way they wish them much oftener than they usually do.

***********

 

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

***********

 

Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base metal; she will not even bite it to see if it is good; all she notices is the size of it, not the quality.
Hellfire Hotchkiss

***********

 

All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.

 Lord Byron

***********

 

"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."
Jimmy Durante.

***********

 

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
--
Albert Einstein - Funny Love Quotes

***********

 

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
 
Anonymous

***********

 

Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
--
Jim Backus

***********

 

 Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."
George Burns.

***********

 

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city."
George Burns.

***********

 

 I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray.

***********

 

 In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."

Woody Allen.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday
is to forget it once

***********

Yawn - Nature's way of letting married men open their mouths

Anon

***********

 I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

***********

 I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

***********

Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence

***********

 

 A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

 Milton Berle

***********

 

A wife is   someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single. 

unknown

***********

I think, therefore I'm single.

 

More humorous marriage quotes >

 

 

  SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

 [Love Quotes ][Submit a Funny Quote] [Submitted Quotes] [Humorous Quotes] [Random Quotes] [Anniversary Ideas]
[
Wedding Quotes] [Xanga Quotes] [Search for a Quote][Friendship Songs][ Funny Friendship Poems]
[ Eclipse Quotes]
[Sad Love Quotes] Links] [Dating Links] [Mailing List] [Missing You] [Cute Love Quotes] Sad Love Quotes]
[
Dedicate Someone a Quote/Poem] [View Dedications]
Download Free Love Quotes Screen Saver]

[Movie Love Quotes] [Losing Love] Love Songs Lyrics ][Love Talk ] New!

 

contact me

Copyright© 2002-2015 , . All rights reserved.