Untold Letters for PARE
When I first saw Warren in my summer class in C.E.U year 2006, I knew, I just fell in love. Unrequited love i thought it was. 6 years had passed but the feeling is still the same.
We became group mates in CEU. Hang out once with the group, nothing romantic. But the feeling became more intense for me especially when we still communicate after his graduation. He is three years older by the way. We talk every night, and the spark is really there. My classmates and I had a week vacation in Vigan Ilocos, then he invited us to come over to their home. The feeling is so special. Until such time, we had an on and off communication but we still update each other. I, always prayed to God, for us to meet again…no matter how long will it be…
We met again in person last April 2012, we are both excited. But unfortunately, I am already engaged last February 2012. I chose not to tell him, because I don’t want to ruin the meeting. It feels so right.
July 2012, he knew I was engaged. We talked that night through phone and we confessed about our true feeling. It wasn’t unrequited. We feel, it is a loss. But we chose what is right, to move on…
We tried not to talk, nor text. But we still communicate since we are old friends. Not as regular as it should be, but a call or text, just feels different, he says too that he is happy every time he talk to me, and so am I. But I myself , avoid him too.
October 2012, I call off the engagement. Not because of him but because my fiance and I has personal problems I cannot withstand forever.
Our common friend, Vida, invited me over to Vigan to attend her child’s baptism. At first, I do not like to attend because of the cost, effort, and I can see Warren. But before the event, I decided to call off the engagement. So I chose to go with my Mom.
As I expected, I feel so at home in Vigan. I stayed in Vida’s house. There, Warren and I got the chance to talk and be with each other. He did not know first that I wasn’t engaged anymore. But, through our conversation, I told him the truth. My two day stay in Vigan having him by my side, mom, Vida’s family, the St. Benedict church, sister wendy, was one of the happiest days of my life.
I really enjoyed his company and I know he enjoyed our company too. I get so attached afterwards. But unfortunately, after two days, I have this instinct that he is not into me. Though I know he care. But, his rejection of my text messages not all though , makes me sad. This iS sadder compared to the calling off the engagement.
When I stayed in Vigan, I had the answer. I want a man who believes in God , a family abided by God’s love and a relationship that we can both show our true self.
I really love him that’s the realization.
I met a sister named Wendy. And she became a guardian angel to us. 🙂
And now, I am writing this because I really miss him so dearly…
I miss him..
I miss him so much…
But there is nothing I can do …
So, I will just write it for the sake of releasing my feelings…
I hope and pray that Warren also misses me and feels the way I do..
Because, God, you know what I feel that I want a lifetime with him…
I hope he feels the same way too..
But I understand that he may be troubled by the things I really do not know..
Please, take care of his heart, mind and body. Please take good care of him.
All I want is his happiness….that is how I love him…
I LOVE YOU WARREN….
OCT 25, 2012