My Last Letter

Love what is this blasphemy that you are speaking of cause I know of no such thing now if your talking bout this hole that I have in my heart if that’s what they call love then I don’t want no parts as I sit back in my room remembering on all of the good times we shared I once was in this thing that we all call love but how could I have loved you with my all when the love you had for me was just oh so small but one thing I can say is that you taught me how to love but at the same time you really had no idea what it really was I wanted to marry you you was suppose to have my last name be the mother of our children virginity that’s something special sacred your suppose to honor it but you want to ruin all that just for one moment of sex but I’m sorry I don’t have sex I make love cause that’s not just for rite know its forever

I don’t know what the future stores for us like how could you have lied so much to someone you so claim to be in love with despite how you feel about every man cheats on a women and how your “friends” feel I mean this from the deepest depth of my heart I would have never as long as my heart is beating cheated on you not in a million years I only have eyes for you you might find this hard to believe but I can honestly say that I have never looked at a girl in any type of way I only have eyes for you and only you I don’t know you just let so many people/friends messed with your judgment that most times I don’t even know who you are anymore its like they brain washed you or something but you know what they say “birds of a feather flock together” its something like that but I remember in the beginning you use to be such a sweet loving caring quiet person now your just this loud ignorant careless person that’s always talking about sex well congratulations you finally became what you wanted to be and that’s a hood chick why you think I was always acton jerkish towards you cause I knew this day was coming and might I add forgive me for that I just aint know how to handle it I was trying my hardest to prevent this from happening I’ve even putting it in previous letters but I just hope that one day you’ll find your own way I don’t have no friends for a reason cause I couldn’t find none that was just like me and I refused to turn myself into them that was until I met you but oh was I wrong you were my friend my best friend my only friend you was the only person I could relate to we had so many mutual problems Its crazy cause I started off writing you a poem but now I don’t know what this is all I know is its sincerely from the heart I would be a lie if I told you that I’m not in love with you anymore missing you like crazy already and that I don’t want to get back together but at the same time I’m not asking if we could get back together we won’t be anytime soon you have a lot of problems you need to work on to tell you the truth I don’t know if we ever might get back together but besides that I wish you the best I wish you and yours nothing but happiness i remember when you said f me I just felt so bad cause you was basically saying you don’t care about me but on another note you forgot to be there for me but you was always there for your friends no matter what but really like what do you see in your friends to just always give me the back burner I never asked for much you seen them all week and all I asked for was the weekends was that asking for to much you couldn’t even give me that much my fault cause that aint much you couldn’t even give me that little I wouldn’t see you for months at a time and you live directly around the corner I’m talking about if you walked down at the end of your block you can see my block to tell you the truth I should of been seeing you every day but I’m not selfish I know you have friends and you still do have a life I was just asking for two days of out the week eight days of out the month 96 days of out the year but that was asking to much of you where as though you can hang out with your friends 365 days a year did you know how it made me feel when you would call me and tell me that you was out with your friends when I haven’t seen you in months why you think I always accused you of cheating I mean you never came and seen me you have a lot of so called “friends” that are boys and why was you being friends with boys that like you now I’m not saying you couldn’t have friends that are boys but what was the use of being friends with the ones that like you there main goal is to get with you and as soon as me and you going thru something they’re gonna be rite there tryna pick up and no matter how much I told you It was hurting me for you to continue to be friends with boys who likes you you just continued to be there friends and let them talk down on me and even you would talk down on me with them lol with them and for what and I’m not an insecure person you would try to label me as that it was just the things that you would do and say and would not say you aspected me to be happy with just talking to you over the phone saying a few of I love yous seeing you every three months but that’s just not enough where was you when I needed you the most *cough* (justins tevin mech and a few myspace boys and whoever else) wow excuse me where did that come from I think I’m catching a cold (in your sarcastic voice) terri I’ve never asked nothing of you but for you to love me for me don’t lie to me and just to be loyal and faithful to me and of course spend some time with me my fault I have a few more that we would wait for us to get married before we maid love cause what is sex I don’t know but you couldn’t even do that I just feel sorry for you cause you gonna find a few boys who just wants you for sex before you finally do find mr right *cough* (witch is me) whoa like where did that come from somebody shut the window I think I’m coming down with the swine flu but on a serious note though your gonna get hurt a lot cause you thought they loved you but really they all only wanted one thing but your young to na├»ve to realize that now but when you get older and start reflecting back on your childhood your not gonna have no choice but to say “what was his name oh now I remember that boy Eric he really truly was in love with me” but you just tooked me for granted you always was telling me how you felt unappreciated when it was you who didn’t appreciate me it was all just a cover up so you could make me look like the bad guy I use to hated when you did that you use to always tell people my business but you would never tell them the wrong things that you have done cause if they new half the things you’ve put me thru this all imma say people would start to look at you differently hands down they would say I had the rite to act do and say the things that I did and you always calling me a jerk your the reason why I acted like that you made me into that with your ignorance and arrogance and a hundred other things but I already spoke on a few of them earlier on in the letter I’m tryna cover everything cause this my last poem/letter to you and you wrong cause are relationship been died when you lost your own way and yes it was lovely to have meet the old you the real you well I guess this is goodbye.

by Eric S.

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